CHUCK (the TV show)!!!!

I know I haven't posted anything for awhile but I came accross this on the interwebs and just had to share it. It's totally cool and if you're a fan of Chuck (if not you need to give it a shot) then you'll love it.

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD AT A TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN SHOWING ON OPENING NIGHT

10) "Shia is the master of shouting all your lines acting the same way that Christian Bale is of tough guy whispering in movies."
9) "Why do they even bother giving Megan Fox lines to read?"
8) "Did you know there's a cartoon based on these movies?"
7) "Furthering a negative stereotype about black people? I don't see it."
6) "This theater sure is packed full for 'My Sister's Keeper'. What do you mean I'm in the wrong theater?"
5) "I thought GM went bankrupt."
4) "More Shia. Less robots please."
3) "I smell an Oscar."
2) "That Michael Bay sure is a master storyteller."
1) "That's some great acting right there. Of course I'm talking about the robots."

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR JOB MAY BE IN JEOPARDY

10) Your boss asks if you wouldn't mind moving your desk out to the hallway.
9) For some reason security has been escorting you out of the office for the past couple of days.
8) You find empty boxes around your desk with notes attached saying, "I hope this helps."
7) You act on a show on the CW network.
6) Co-workers walk around your desk calling dibs on your things.
5) Your boss keeps mentioning to you all the help wanted signs he sees on his way into the office every day.
4) You're asked to sign your own condolence card when it gets passed by your desk.
3) People refer to you around in the office in past tense.
2) You're getting emails from Monster.com about new jobs in your area and you haven't even posted your resume.
1) You work for GM.

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD IN THE STREETS DURING LOS ANGELES LAKERS "CELEBRATIONS"

10) "Wow, these Raiders fans are nuts!"
9) "We couldn't have won that series without Adam Morrison in there for us!"
8) "What's a Laker?"
7) "The Lakers finally won! Does that mean I can get off the band wagon now because I want to go to the beach."
6) Something unintelligible in Spanish.
5) "I've been looking for an excuse to throw a garbage can through that restaurant window. Their lobster bisque is terrible."
4) "Go Dodgers! What? I mean go Lakers!"
3) "Let's go loot that Circuit City over there I don't see any security out front."
2) "The more property damage we cause the more it shows how much we love our team!"
1) "I thought this was a Prop 8 demonstration."

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE LAST BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING FOR GM

10) How do we go about making real life Transformers?
9) It's time we acknowledge Honda as a viable competitor.
8) How much do you think it would cost to get Susan Boyle as a spokesmodel?
7) To get rid of all exsisting stock of Pontiacs they will all be half price on all Bagel Wednesdays.(that one's for you Brian and Art!)
6) I have a great idea for a car that's going to save GM! The Chevrolet Corolla.
5) The day GM goes bankrupt will be the day that we have a black president in the oval office. What? Nevermind.
4) Could be worse. We could be Chrysler.
3) Let's just start mass producing Deloreans and see what happens. It's not like we're going bankrupt or anything.
2) New sales idea: free dozen donuts with every new car purchase.
1) Nothing. The board of directors were vactioning in Bermuda when the meeting was supposed to be held.

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 RATIONALES THE POST OFFICE IS USING FOR RAISING POSTAGE STAMP PRICES TO $0.44

10) Because people are sending letters now more than ever.
9) It's still easier and quicker than the pony express.
8) The economy is perfect for raising prices. It's worked for the oil companies right?
7) Email is just a crazy fad that will eventually go away.
6) Try to raise money to get those commorative Golden Girls stamp sets made.
5) Becauase carrier pigeons are really hard to come by.
4) They need the money in order to outfit their postal carriers in those fashionable shorts.
3) Swine flu has taken a lot of attention away from anthrax making mail safer than ever.
2) Need to buy new mail carrier Jeeps since Chrysler went bankrupt.
1) Ammo prices have gone up.

Top 10 Tuesday!

TOP 10 EXCUSES MANNY COULD HAVE USED FOR PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS

10) I needed the free time to spend the money from this fat contract I got from the Dodgers.
9) I thought the drugs were ok because the Doctor said he got them in Mexico.
8) I honestly didn't think it wouldn't do much because Jeremy Giambi took them and you saw his performance afterwards.
7) No, really, I honestly couldn't get it up.
6) I thought they were Skittles.
5) Who are you going to believe? Me or Jose Canseco? Hello? Hello?
4) Hey, I was going to miss part of the season anyway for a fake injury go back to my homeland when I skipped the All-Star break anyway.
3) I thought Juan Pierre deserved more playing time in the starting line-up.
2) It's not like we play in the American League East right?
1) I'm just Manny being Barry.

Special thanks to Brian Manning for today's topic. Please note after I published the list I changed #6. It used to be "Everyone else is doing it"

Have You Bought Yours Yet?

It's the latest and greatest!

Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Rejected Names by the CDC for the Swine Flu

10) The Bacon Bug
9) Pork: The Other Deadly Disease
8) Porky Pigitis
7) Jimmy Dean Disease
6) The Pork Plague
5) Not Cancer
4) ePIGdemic
3) Pigs in a Blanket of Infectious Diseases
2) Ham Pox
1) Swinorrhea

Special thanks to Arthur West and Jen Taylor for their ideas and help with this weeks list.

If I Could Get a New Job

Now, I know its randomized by a computer but I'd love to be the person that types those letters that you have to type to verify comments to post them on someone's blog. I'd type really random words like "Buttercream," "Revolving Door," and "Flan." Or I just jam on the keys for a couple of seconds like, "aklefhaeuihfkanekjfhiwehfkaherigslkfjglirjtoqjherotfhabawiehfuiahrgia" and they would have to re-type it back exactly in order to get their comment posted. The best thing I'd do is copy and paste entire news articles and have people re-type those.

Man, that'd be an awesome job.

(Also I'd like to apologize to my wife who saw the title and thought this was a serious blog post. Sorry, honey. It's just me screwing around again.)

Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Rejected Titles for the New Transformers Movie

10) Transformers 2: Stuff Blowing Up
9) Transformers 2: Revenge of the Contractual Sequel
8) Transformers 2: We Couldn't Afford Hondas
7) Transformers 2: Rise of the Prius
6) GoBots the Movie
5) Transformers 2: The Last Time You'll See a Pontiac in a Major Motion Picture
4) Transformers 2: Don't Worry We Got Megan Fox to Come Back
3) Transformers 2: Attack of the Clones
2) Transformers 2: Herbie's Revenge
1) Transformers 2: G.I. Joe Owes Us One

Special thanks to my homey, Bret Murdock, for his assistance with this week's list.

Do You Remember?

I was just thinking the other day and do you remember what your earliest possible memory is? I have a couple and I'm not really sure where I can place them in my mind but they are cloudy and I'm sure either of them are the earliest. I have two memories:

1) I remember being in an earthquake because I remember the room was shaking. I was looking around. We had a red cloth couch I remember seeing that. I'm not sure if it was my mom or my older brother but one of them was standing against holding onto the couch.

I try and place this but based on where I've lived the only place feasible for an earthquake would be Arizona. I was born there and I don't think we lived more than a couple years there. So I couldn't have been older than two. Does anyone know how far back a person can remember stuff?

2) I remember being held up by one of my older brothers or my Pop and we were looking at our dog. I think her/his name might have been Candy and that she/he may have been a wiener dog. This could have been in Iowa but I'm not sure. This has to be after the earthquake.

The reason why I thought about this because I was thinking about my boys and how fast Casey is growing and learning and remembering things. I was wondering what their earliest memories will be and if I'll be in any of them. My boys are so important to me and I hope that their earliest memories are good ones or at least something they can vaguely make out better than I can. I just hope they're not of me shouting at the TV from getting destroyed in Gears of War 2 on Xbox Live.

I hope this isn't their earliest memory. Because we already have the pictures to show for it.

Fancy Cameras

So we were at our church Easter egg hunt and I noticed something. Everyone and their brother it seems has a fancy camera. You know the ones. With the impressive strap around the neck, bathed in black, and with a long lens. I saw a married couple and they had his and hers matching fancy cameras and it got me to thinking. The digital age has made it easier for people to take up the hobby of photography.

To me its not as impressive today as in the old days to have a fancy camera. Probably because it wasn't as prevalent. Back in the old days having a fancy camera meant film. You didn't see them all over the place. It seemed more exclusive. More cool. I used to want to take up photography. In high school I wanted to get in the photography class but it was full and that was that. Hello, I'm inadequate.

This is my camera now. It's a Canon Powershot A530. It's not fancy but it gets the job done.

We just made a trip to Utah and took some pretty good photos with it I think. For more trip details it'll be on my wife's family blog. Here are the pictures.

Eat it fancy cameras! I look great on this one!

Now this isn't a knock against people with fancy cameras. I think its cool that the digital age has gotten a lot of people into a hobby I don't think they would have gotten into in the first place. I don't have any aspirations to get a fancy camera. Though I do want something a little sleeker that could fit easy in a pocket. And a little more fancy just without the long lens.

Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Rejected Baskin Robbins Flavors

10) Spicy Brown Mustard
9) Crystal Pepsi
8) Obama Guava
7) Kobe Beef
6) Spicy Tuna Roll
5) Cool Ranch Doritos (with bits of chips mixed in)
4) Frog Legs (though it really tasted like chicken)
3) Purple
2) Funnel Cake (why it was rejected is beyond me)
1) Flan

Special thanks to Maria Chappell for today's topic

A Very Difficult Question...

What is a more tasty theme park treat?

The Churro

With it deliciously chewy inside and slightly crispy outside the churro is a delicious theme park treat. It normally retails from $3.00 to $1,000 (I'm looking at you Disney Land). The closer is the outstanding coating of cinnamon and sugar (one of my favorite combos of all time ) all over these masterpieces. Perfectly portable that you can eat and walk around. Thank you Hispanic person that came up with this yummy snack.

OR

The Funnel Cake

Funnel cakes are a fabulously fantastic fair food (how's that for alliteration?)! Straight out of the deep fat fryer and onto a paper plate covered in powdered sugar it goes almost unchallenged. You know you have a good one when the plate has a big grease stain on it (that means its extra healthy). It doesn't stop at powdered sugar because you can get jam on them (Knott's Berry Farm anyone?) While not as portable as the churro its worth sitting down and taking a break for.

This is a quandry and a difficult choice. I don't know which is better. I want to say funnel cake. I really do. Instead I'll go with deep fried Twinkies (I'm kidding - no picture included because they are na-a-a-a-asty).

Top 10 Tuesday!

The Top 10 Rejected McDonald's Menu Items

10) Caviar Parfait
9) Gator McNuggets
8) McHot Pockets
7) Whopper Jr. Jr.
6) McShrimp and Grits
5) 1/8 Pounder
4) Double Cheeseburger Milkshake
3) McColonel's Original Recipie Chicken with 11 herbs and spices
2) Big Mac Salad
1) McFlan

Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Reasons You Know Your Fantasy Baseball Team is Going to Suck

10) You're a lifelong Orioles fan.
9) Your league keeps track of steroid/HGH accusations.
8) Randy Johnson is your "ace."
7) You spend the entire draft looking for Wade Boggs all the while the computer auto-picks for you.
6) You have 6 first basemen and not one of them has the last name of Pujols.
5) You successfully petitioned a team to bring back Oil Can Boyd just so you can have him on your team.
4) Your team is called RedsFan4Life.
3) Your "youth movement" includes Jorge Posada.
2) Rick Ankiel is your best position player... and pitcher.
1) You pick like a girl.

Special thanks to Brian Manning and Austin Frost for their contributions and ideas for today's list.

Top 10 Tuesday!

Top 10 Things Overheard During the BYU vs. Texas A&M NCAA Tournament Game

10) "When does BYU start playing?"
9) "Wow, I've never seen that many white guys on one team before."
8) "It's a good thing the NCAA went through all the trouble for BYU if they win so their second round game won't be played on a Sunday."
7) "Hey, what's Michael Jackson's favorite university? Brigham Young!"
6) "Do you know what BYU actually stands for? Another weak NCAA tourney showing."
5) "I'm surprised playing in the Mountain West Conference couldn't get us more prepared for playing these tough teams."
4) "I'm not a betting man but if I was I'd go for the team with less white guys on the floor."
3) "THIS is what my tithing is paying for?"
2) "At least we still have Utah and Utah State in."
1) "When does football start?"

But Does It Really?

Old School

Call me old fashioned or old school or prehistoric or unwilling to change or your grandparents or whatever but I still like to buy CD's.

Don't get me wrong. I love the digital/MP3/iPod/age. I love the fact that I can get an electronic device smaller than your normal calculator and put on 1000+ songs for my listening enjoyment. It beats what I used to do. Walk around with a discman (its what I did at college, I couldn't afford an iPod) and stopping to replace CD's on occasion. I think it's great that we have the technology to do this.

But I still love CD's. I remember back in the old days (high school specifically) I used to love getting a new CD and popping it in my stereo to listen to its audio goodness while poring over the liner notes. If it contained lyrics? Even better. I'd learn the lyrics to my favorite songs. I had Columbia House (I mentioned that in a prior post) and would get a new CD a month and I used to look forward to when it would come in.

I do buy the occasional song off of iTunes. Just singles though if I'm not interested in the full album. I've only bought one complete album, Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo (as most of you know I'm a big Weezer fan). I was really looking forward to getting and just couldn't wait. If any of you have bought an album off iTune (which I assume most of you have) they also include the liner notes. Its just not the same though. You have to print them out. Its just on paper. Not in the nice glossy CD case sized stapled together booklet. It just felt wrong to be enjoying this new CD without the booklet to enjoy it by to read all of River's notes on his songs. Sure I could read them on my computer while I listened to it but it's just not the same effect.

It saddens me that all these record stores are going out of business but that's just the times. I get more out of sorting through CD's racks trying to find that diamond in the rough, something that catches my eye that tells me I have to get it or I haven't heard it in a long time, than just typing in the search bar on iTunes. On occasion I go to a record store (Rockaway records?) with my Father-in-Law and I love looking through the used CDs.

Like I said. I love the digital age. I love iTunes. I think its great. But call me old fashioned or old school or prehistoric or unwilling to change or your grandparents (I am 30) or whatever but I still like to buy CDs.

Have any of you ever even seen a chicken?

Best news ever.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b101449_sources_michael_cera_joins_arrested.html

Consider me there on day 1.

Rusty's Grammy's

This is in reply to my friend, Annie Murdock's blog (http://abmurdock.blogspot.com/2009/02/annies-grammys.html). I was typing a reply to her Grammy's and as I was responding I realized it was a little long and would make a fantastic blog post. I copied her catergories and added my own opinions for who my faves are per catergory. Enjoy and opinions are welcome as always...


Now onto my choices...

Best New Artist: The Black Keys - Attack & Release. Now this isn't a new artist by any means but I discovered them this year. Fantastic disc. Has a dirty blues rock sound to it. Fuzzy guitar and loud drums. It's rocktastic. Also critically praised.

Best Pop Collaboration: Neil Young and Pearl Jam - "Rockin in the Free World." Sure this was a long time ago but I love this version of the song. Fantastic.

Biggest (Anti) Sell Out (lyric): Weezer - "Pork and Beans" The only way this has anything to do with this is the line:"Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts.Maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art."


Future Sell Out: On that lyric, Chris Cornell (who I loved when he was with Soundgarden) made a solo album to be released this year that was produced by Timbaland. I have a real bad feeling about this one. Couldn't he have just reunited with Soundgarden instead?Remember when I used to rock? Thanks to Timbaland no one will ever know me like that ever again.

Best Comeback: Q-Tip - The Reniassance. I like me some hip hop. Mostly 90's stuff. My fave group is A Tribe Called Quest (absolutely raptastic). They have this jazzy rap vibe. Their lead guy Q-Tip release a solo album and it's been a while and it's amazing. It's just great stuff. Great beats. Everything. Big recommendation.

Album of the Year: The Racontuers - Consolers of the Lonely. Just an awesome rock record overall. I'm getting a thing for dirty rock records with loud fuzz guitars and heavy drums (see above) and this record doesn't disappoint at all. Key track to hear is the epic last track "Carolina Blues." Jack White does it again. Great from first song to the last.

What are some of your music faves from this year? Blog you later.

3 Things...

that suck.

1) Tickets - I got busted for making a right on a red light without stopping. Reason was because it was yellow as I was approaching it so I was hoping to make it. Unfortunately it turned red (I could've sworn it was yellow as I got in the intersection). Even worse a traffic camera got me (it's a pretty good picture actually. I'll see if I can scan it and post it). That was about a month ago. I finally got the ticket today and it was for $426. That sucks.

2) Moving - I really despise moving of most any kind. Because I dislike packing and unpacking (with a passion). Today I was informed at work (Progressive) that I had to move my desk because some of the teams were restructured. So I have to pack up my stuff and go to a different desk like 10 feet away. That sucks too.

3) Terrorism - for obvious reasons.

I just wanted to write this because I went through the first 2 things today and it made my day rather crappy. Then I realized I thought I'd add a 3rd thing to make a new 3 Things post.

3 Things...

I'm going to start a weekly or bi-weekly post titled 3 things. In I'm going to talk about 3 things. They may have something in common. They may not. It all depends on what's going on upstairs in the 'ol noggin.

This week's theme is bands I completely dislike:

1) 3 Doors Down - I can't stand these guys. It was made horribly worse this past summer when almost every movie I went and saw they had to show their stupid full-length video "Citizen Soldier" for the National Guard. Doesn't the National Guard want to gain recruits?

I just don't like their music. They all seem like guys who would be massive tools in high school (I know I shouldn't be judging them but it's based on the tunes). Have you seen their newest video for the "It's Not My Time" song? It has some kind of time traveling parkour guy jumping all around. Now the dude's moves are good but the song sucks.

I admit to getting suckered in by their first song, "Kryptonite." I'm happy to say it didn't stick. I'm ashamed to admit that I do own their first CD though. I don't listen to it. Reason? I used to be a part of Columbia House (y'know 27 CD's for a penny?) and I got it sent to me and I was too lazy to send it back. I'm not lazy anymore because I always turn the station when they come on. "Hey kid. Let me copy your Spanish homework or I'll give you a wedgie."

#2) Matchbox 20 - More like Crapbox 20. See what I just did there? I just switched Crap with Match. And it was totally awesome. These guys always sell a bunch of records but I've yet to meet someone who admits to really liking them enough to buy one.

I remember hearing that "Push" song and just totally being turned off. "I wanna push you around. Well I will! Well I will!" Yikes. Oh they pushed me all right. To the point where I detest their music. Yet somehow that song made to #1 on the Modern Rock charts in 1997. Hey, Rob Thomas! Oasis called. They want their hairstyle back.

They try to pass themselves off as a rock band. They're not. They're horrible. I'd like to push them around so they can stop recording.

3) Creed - Now these aren't listed in rank or anything but if I were rank these this band would be the flat out worst. By far. According to Wikipedia (I do a little research but does Wikipedia really count?) they have sold 26 million records in the United States. All that proves to me is that there are 26 million plus with either horrible taste or some really sad people who got their albums as a gift.

From their crappy rock songs ("My Own Prison") to their sappy love songs ("With Arms Wide Open) I really don't like them at all. Cheesy and cliche. Somehow that Arms Wide Open song won a Grammy for Best Rock Song in 2001. Which is further proof that the Grammy's don't mean anything. At all.
"Can you take me higher? To a place where blind men see." How about you take me to where I can't hear that crap anymore?

Not to mention how much Scott Stapp tries (it can't be a coincidence) to sound like Eddie Vedder. That's what kills me the most. I'm glad they broke up. Through rumors are starting of a reunion. Please spare us. Creed is the worst band ever. Ever.

Now I'm no music snob or elitist or anything. These are just my opinions. And I'm sticking by them.

Coincidence? As I was typing this my bro-in-law is watching the Kings game and they were playing the "Kryptonite" song. Ugh.

Blog you later.

New Title!

Someone at work (I don't want to name names so I'll just call him Tommy R.) said they got a kick out of the title of my first post. So I thought about it and it seemed like its even better than my current title. So I changed it.

Jack Bauer

Have you ever wanted to feel like a secret agent tuff guy? I do that every time I change Oliver's diaper. Because little boys when diaper-less like to pee in the open. They must like the freedom or something. So every time I change his diaper it's like I'm disarming a bomb. A frantic race against time. Like my survival depends on getting that new diaper on as fast as humanly possible before I get hosed. It's been a little over 3 months and he hasn't got me yet.

Plus it makes diaper changing not feel so much like a chore.

LOST is back!

I have been waiting for this moment for a year now. Tonight is the night! I'm so excited to pick up on this show and see what's in store now. Questions that I'd like to see answered this season:

1. Where did the Island go?
2. How do the "Oceanic 6" find it to go back?
3. What's the deal with Claire?
4. Is Jin really dead?
5. Will we learn any more about what the Black Smoke Monster is?
6. Who the heck is Jacob?
7. How did Ben become such bad mother (as in his Jason Bourne moves)?
8. How did Locke die?
9. How did the Island move?
10. When will the team from Fringe get on the case and solve the whole thing?

Any more questions from you Lost fans out there? We're going to have a Lost premiere viewing party with our fellow Lost friend's the Murdock's. Sooooo excited! Bring on the polar bears!

Bored

Hey, I'm just bored. What do you do when you're bored? I need some suggestions and please don't tell me to read a book. My brain can't handle that. All the TV's are being used also. The internet is just a wide vacuum of junk mostly.

I'll take all suggestions for the next time I'm bored. Please feel free to post all ideas.

My 2 Little Fellas

Okay, so I wanted to show off my 2 boys (Casey and Oliver). I'm going to try to post more later this week if I can. Just wanted to show off my (and my wife's) handiwork. Oliver is only 3 months old and looks like he's 6 months because he's already 14 lbs and growing fast.

It's a Hard Blog Life.

Hey, so here I am starting my first blog (my old MySpace account doesn't count). Here goes... nothing? I think Bethany is going to do a family blog so I'm just doing this on my own. Thought I'd give it a whirl (you're going to see my infatuation with parenthesis). At best with work I can probably just update it about once a week.

First I guess I should introduce myself (though if you are reading this you already know me so what's the point? Well you're going to have to read it anyway). My name is Russell Allen Smith and I grew up a Navy brat. I say that because I've been around. I claim Hampden, Maine as my home because that's where I went to all of junior high and high school after my Pops retired from the service.

I'm married to a wonderful girl named Bethany (who somehow puts up with me) and have 2 boys, Casey Allen (just turned 3) and Oliver Ruben (just turned 3... months - I don't have twins). I just recently turned 30 and I can't believe it though from looking at me you'd say I was in my early 20's. If I drank (Mormon here) I'm sure I'd be carded all the time.

I work for Progressive (auto claims adjuster). It's not my dream job (ball boy for the Yankees) but it pays the bills and keeps the fam in health and dental insurance. Plus it has a pretty rockin' visual plan.

That's about as good as an intro that I can give ya under short notice. I got to go help make the vittles (dinner for you young folk).

Blog you later,
Russ